the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
wow bdsm is so cute
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
