But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
