kristin has been a bad kristin
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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