a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Everyone says I win the strip club
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
