I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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