Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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