i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
