I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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