I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Fuck appropriateness.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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