wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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