when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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