He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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