First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
