my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
