I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
