im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
