im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
