i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
