also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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