Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hippo gnu deer
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
