dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
