pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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