I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
