Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize