u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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