i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
