the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
