Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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