did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize
