remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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