Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
