so explain again why im purple
no
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
