belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
