I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
