I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
