He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
