Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
