I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
