well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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