I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
