I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
