We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Randomize
