Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
