Will you blow on my dice?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
