I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
