We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
this hospital has no fireball
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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