Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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