Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
