Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can text with my tongue
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
