Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My bed smells like the plague
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
