my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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