i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
