Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
