is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
