He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
